If you’ve never experienced coaching, it’s easy to assume that it’s just a nice chat with someone who nods thoughtfully and asks how that makes you feel.

Lovely, but… how transformational can that really be?

I get it! This kind of scepticism is completely understandable. And busy women are usually practical, results-focused and short on time. So, talking can feel like a bit of a luxury. Or, worse, self-centred! (Shudder.)

But here’s the truth:
Coaching works because it changes how you think. And that changes what you do.

You know, don't you, that your thoughts (beliefs/attitudes) dictate your actions? So, to change what you do, especially if it's rooted in a habit or self-belief, you need first to address the thoughts that have created that habit or self-belief.

The good news is that that's entirely possible. We have control over our thoughts and beliefs. We, ourselves, make and maintain them, after all. But rewiring them? Hmmm. Shifting our perspective? Not easy! It's just much trickier on your own and so much easier with a thought-partner.

This poem by Caleb Gunner is a great reminder of what's possible if we choose to take control:

But you'll already know that wanting change isn’t the same as creating change

Most people don’t struggle because they don’t want change. They struggle because they get stuck - usually at three predictable points:

• They can’t clearly see what’s actually holding them back

• They default to familiar beliefs and habits, even when those beliefs and habits are unhelpful

• Fear, self-doubt or external pressure quietly shape their decisions

You can’t break yourself out of patterns that you can’t see.

This is where coaching can make such a meaningful difference.

What coaching actually does (beyond the talking)

Coaching is more than just talking and it needs to deliver more than just advice. Telling people what to do doesn't help them to think differently (fill in your own dozens-of-examples-of-this here), so we need to tackle the thoughts and beliefs through guided and constructive reflection.

At its best, coaching:

Disrupts unhelpful thinking patterns
We all run on invisible mental shortcuts: old stories about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what’s “realistic”. Coaching gently challenges these assumptions so we can examine them, rather than default to them.

Creates accountability with kindness
Change is easier with support and accountability. Not pushing. Not rescuing. But simply helping you notice patterns, reflect honestly, and keep choosing the next small, doable step.

Reignites self-trust and motivation
Good coaching doesn’t install answers, it helps people hear their own wisdom again. That’s what's so powerful about it. Motivation sticks far better when it comes from inside rather than from being told what “should” work.

Coaching doesn’t create change, it unlocks your ability to create change for yourself. And that, my friend, is a fucking super power!

Why change often feels harder than it “should”

Here’s the bit that rarely gets talked about:
People don’t just change habits. They change identity.

If someone’s internal story is:

“I’m not a confident person.”
Then speaking up and making their voice heard doesn't just need a change in behaviour, it needs a change in self-belief.

If the story is:

“I’m a perfectionist.”
Then taking some rest, or accepting 'done is better than perfect' can feel like failure, not nourishment.

We unconsciously protect our identity, even when it’s uncomfortable. It's not a sign of weakness - it’s how the human brain keeps us feeling safe and on familiar ground.

People don’t resist change because they’re lazy. They resist unfamiliar versions of themselves.

Coaching helps create a safe space to explore this critical aspect of change.
It's less about “What should I do differently?”
And much more about: Who am I aiming to become and what might need to shift for that to be possible?

The science bit

Our brains build strong pathways around repeated thoughts and emotional responses. The more often a belief is rehearsed, the more “automatic” it feels.

This is why insight alone isn’t always enough. You can understand your patterns perfectly and yet still fall back into them under stress/when life gets in the way.

Coaching works because it helps with:

• Awareness – noticing the pattern as it’s happening

• Disruption – interrupting the automatic response

• Rewiring – practising new ways of thinking and responding

Change isn’t just about effort. It’s learning to respond differently at the nervous-system level.

Over time, this is what creates real, sustainable change: not overnight reinvention, but steadier, more grounded shifts in how people adjust their lives.

So… what difference can coaching make?

Not dramatic “before and after” montages.
Not instant 'life makeovers'.

Those are great on IG reno accounts, and they definitely make for compelling scrolling, but they are not the stuff of real-life personal change.

The real difference tends to look like this:

• Quieter self-criticism

• Clearer decision-making

• Less energy wasted on second-guessing

• More self-permission to choose what actually matters

• Small changes that compound into meaningful shifts

In other words:
A different relationship with yourself.

And that’s not “just talking”.
That’s learning how to think, choose and live with more agency. And once you can tap into your own agency, you can control and shape way more than Caleb LP Gunner's 26 things that are completely under your control!

Next steps

If you’re curious about coaching but still a little sceptical, that’s natural. And healthy. Coaching works best for people who like to think, reflect and try small experiments, rather than simply be told what to do or swallow slogans whole.

A good starting question isn’t: “Will coaching change my life?”

It’s: “What might change for me if I had regular, structured space to think more clearly and constructively about my life?”

Once you know, let's have a chat to see if we might be a good fit for each other as coach and client. No pressure, just an open Q&A.

Does this help? A client story.

A client I worked with was feeling completely flat and uninspired. "I was in a slump; stuck in life; no passion or purpose."

We started with a Wellness Wheel discussion and it was clear she was surviving, not thriving. She's a creative person but had no creative spark; menopause had left her feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and exhaustion and she felt rudderless. Putting on a brave face to even her closest friends and family, she was stuck in a negative loop, not sure who she was any more.

She messaged me after our 4th sessions to say: "I really am grateful to you for our discussions. Although not everything is hunky dory, I feel I have a little bit of fire in me again and that's down to you."

I messaged her back: "I'm thrilled you feel I helped, but more thrilled for you - you have such a big contribution to make and we need you to feel ready to share. I also believe wholeheartedly that the more you can step into that feeling you have (that 'little bit of fire'), the more you'll move out of your swamp of anxiety and be free of that burden."

Me as coach, you as client?

As your coach, I'll be heart-centred and science-led, compassionate but direct, and focused on you. As my client, you'll already have strong emotional intelligence but be more than ready to understand yourself better so that you can finally make the change/s you've been longing to see and feel.

And I am here for THAT!

My one-to-one sessions are held on online using Zoom. They include:

1. A questionnaire before our first session.

2. 90 minutes for a first session and 75 minutes for further and follow-up sessions.

3. A video recording of our session, if you request it to be recorded.

4. A summary of our session, including any action points.

5. ‘Office hours’ support, between or after my one-to-one sessions, offered via the free messaging app Voxer.

More

1. Want to work with me? You can explore my coaching options or register for my free webinars.

2. Want to start right now? Why not download my free GWSW Wellness Wheel resource to figure out area/s you want to focus on for your bespoke wellness.

3. Feeling overwhelmed? Read my blog post on Reclaiming your Agency from the algorithm and then download my free 10-Minute Reset.

4. Want a quick chat about any of this? Or want to make a comment or suggestion? Here’s how to connect with me.

   1. Chat via the ‘chat’ button on my website at any time. ↘️

   2. Send me your questions, suggestions, or comments by email.

More Resources

Have you visited the Go Well Stay Well Library, yet? 

It’s being added to each month, but you can already find content in there that will help you to:

• Get started (and then keep going)

• Understand the stages and emotions around change